Wedding Speech Tips: How to Deliver a Great Speech

Wedding speeches terrify people. The best man, the father of the bride, the groom — all facing the prospect of standing up in front of 100+ people and being funny, emotional, and memorable. After watching well over 1,000 wedding speeches from my position performing at the event, here's what I've learned about what works and what doesn't.

The Golden Rules

Keep It Short

The single most important rule. A 5-minute speech that's tight and well-delivered beats a 15-minute speech every time. Audiences start checking out after 7 minutes, no matter how good you are. Aim for 5 minutes. If you're brilliant, stretch to 7. Never go past 10.

Speak Slowly

Nerves make people speed up. What feels like a normal pace to you sounds like an auctioneer to the audience. Consciously slow down, pause between sections, and let the laughs land before moving on. Silence is powerful — it lets the audience process what you've said.

Talk to the Couple, Not the Room

The best speeches feel like a conversation directed at the couple that everyone else gets to listen to. Make eye contact with the bride and groom. Address them directly. The audience will follow your gaze.

Best Man Speech

The best man speech carries the most pressure because it's expected to be funny. Tips:

• Open with a joke, not an apology — "I'm so nervous" or "I'm not very good at speeches" is not an opening. Start with something that gets a laugh in the first 15 seconds
• One or two stories, not ten — pick your best stories and tell them well. A rambling collection of "and there was this other time..." loses the audience
• Keep it clean enough for grandma — the groom's grandmother is in the room. Stories about stag dos, ex-girlfriends, or anything that could genuinely embarrass the groom in front of his new family are off limits
• End on the couple — the speech should finish with genuine warmth about the couple's relationship. The comedy sets up the emotional ending
• Raise a toast — give the audience a clear signal that you're finished. "Please raise your glasses to the bride and groom" is the classic ending for a reason

Father of the Bride Speech

This speech is expected to be emotional rather than funny (though humour helps). Tips:

• Talk about your daughter — stories from childhood, what she was like growing up, the moment you realised she'd found the right person
• Welcome the groom — a genuine welcome into the family means a lot
• Don't read the whole thing — notes are fine, but reading word-for-word from a page removes all emotion. Know your speech well enough to look up
• It's okay to get emotional — a genuine tear is moving. Sobbing so much you can't finish is uncomfortable for everyone. If you think you'll get emotional at a specific point, practise that part until you can get through it

Groom's Speech

The groom's speech is the easiest because the audience is on your side. Tips:

• Thank people — parents on both sides, the best man, bridesmaids, anyone who contributed to the day. Be specific about what you're thanking them for
• Talk about your partner — when you met, what made you fall in love, why today matters. This is the emotional core of the speech
• Give the bridesmaids their gifts — this is traditionally part of the groom's speech and provides a natural structure
• Keep the thank-yous brisk — a long list of "and I'd also like to thank..." loses momentum. Group people together

How to Write Your Speech

1. Start with bullet points — the key messages, stories, and thank-yous. Don't write full sentences yet
2. Structure it — opening (grab attention), middle (stories/content), ending (emotional close + toast)
3. Write it out in full — then read it aloud. Cut anything that doesn't sound natural when spoken
4. Edit ruthlessly — if a section doesn't add something essential, cut it. Every sentence should earn its place
5. Practise aloud — at least 5 times. In front of a mirror, to a friend, or recorded on your phone. Time it. If it's over 7 minutes, cut more

On the Day

• Eat something — an empty stomach makes nerves worse. Don't skip the meal
• Limit the alcohol — one drink for courage is fine. Three drinks and you'll slur, lose your place, and go off-script
• Use notes, not a full script — bullet points on cards, not a printed essay. Notes keep you on track while allowing natural delivery
• Stand up — always stand. Speaking while seated looks casual and makes it harder for the room to hear you
• Use the microphone — if there is one, use it. Speaking loudly to be heard makes you sound aggressive. A microphone lets you talk at a natural volume

Speeches Before or After the Meal?

This is debated endlessly. My observation from over 1,000 weddings: speeches before the meal are better. The speakers can relax and enjoy their food instead of sitting through three courses of increasing dread. The audience is fresher and more attentive. And the meal flows better without interruptions.

If your speeches are between courses, a table magician filling the other gaps keeps the energy balanced — entertainment between some courses, speeches between others.

If you're planning your wedding timeline and want advice on where to fit speeches and entertainment, get in touch — I'm happy to help.